Losing Harmony

The heavy-booted footsteps of the guard echo down the cellblock corridor.
       

"Alright, Feathers. You've got a visitor. Get up and follow me."
       

"Feathers? Clever. Hope you didn't sprain a brain cell coming up with that one."
       

"Shut your beak and keep waddlin'. I think you will like this visit. A chick is waiting for you."
       

At these words BB's avian heart skips a beat. Could it be? What if it's really her? The chick in BB's thoughts goes by the name of Harmony. A lovely name for a lovely creature. He hasn't been able to stop thinking about his bird-boo while in this dreadful place. They had gotten into a heated argument the night before sentencing. He had said some very hurtful things, but he meant none of them. The two hadn't talked since. And it has weighed on him, along with the many other things weighing on him.
       

The barrage begins as BB makes his way past the other inmates.
       

"You are in the wrong cage!"
       

"I suspect fowl play!"
       

"What happened? Poop on a cop car or something?"
       

"Call me if you need your paper changed."
       

Bullets of derisive laughter ricochet off the cold, dreary walls. But BB fails to even hear the hullabaloo, so lost in thought is he. Anticipation builds, questions swirl and butterflies flutter.
       

If it's really her, muses BB to himself, what should I say? What if she's still miffed at me? Oh come on, she will just be happy to see me. And I will definitely be happy to see her...if it's really her that's waiting for me, that is. One way to find out.
       

Suddenly, this internal dialogue is interrupted by pleasant waves of a very familiar sound. It is coming from a few feet away. At this moment, BB has at least one of his self-questions answered. She is here. Harmony is here, and she is singing to him. Ah yes, this is just what BB needs in this dark hour of his life. Maybe everything will be all right after all.
       

The next few feet seem like an eternity. He turns the last corner. There she sits. The glass partition does nothing to diminish her beauty and radiance. To humans, she is "cute" and "adorable" at best. But as far as BB is concerned, Harmony is in a flock all by herself.
       

They sit in hesitant silence for a few moments, each taking in the sight of the other.
       

"So how are you do ---"
       

"Girl, it's so great to ---"
       

Giggles break the separation-induced ice as they simultaneously speak. Harmony gives way to BB with a nod.
       

"I have missed you so much. You look fantastic. Beautiful as always."
       

"And you look..." Harmony searches for the word that won't feel like a kick in the dumplings.
       

"I know, I look rough. I feel rough. This is a rough place. This has been a rough experience for me. Life is rough. Mine anyway."
       

"Actually, I was about to say you look drained. But since you brought up the r word, I think we should talk about that." Harmony seizes on the opportunity to drop a pellet of wisdom. "You know, I have heard that 'the rough is only mental.' "
       

BB's crest rises. "What does that mean?"
       

"Just that, as challenging as life can be, it's really all in how we think about it. If you think you can overcome anything, you can. And you will. We make things harder on ourselves by negative thinking."
       

"So says the bird on the right side of the glass," BB says to himself. When he observes her displeased expression, he realizes his mistake. Unwittingly he thought out loud. "I'm sorry. I know you're only trying to help."
       

"BB, you told me once about the little ditty your mom taught you. Remember? You said it got you through many dark nights and hard days."
       

Harmony begins to sing the words which have meant so much throughout BB's life. But suddenly, her melodic voice is muted. She disappears from view. Everything melts into oblivion. Now all BB can perceive is the lovely and loving face of his beloved mother. All he can hear is his mother's soothing voice. He has been transported back in time through the portal of memory.
       

"My precious son, great things are ahead for you, but so is danger. So I give you these words to carry you through the challenges which await you. They won't mean much to you right now. But they will. In time, they will."
       

Over and over, day after day, the words would fall like seed into the wide-open beak of his young consciousness.
     

 🎵 "Whatever may come, whatever the weather, I will let nothing ruffle my feathers."
       

In an instant, BB is back in his cold, metal chair - back in the bleak, present reality of his human cage. He hears himself reciting the rhyme. Harmony is singing it, just like his dear mother used to do, looking at him with black eyes of compassion.
       

"Thank you, my love. I really needed that." At these words, Harmony drops her colorful head.
       

"Sure, BB. No problem."
       

But clearly, there is a problem. She is still looking down, speaking in a barely audible voice. BB is nothing if not perceptive.
       

"What's going on, Harmony? What's the matter?"
       

Finally she makes eye contact again. "Why do you ask that?"
       

"Oh come on, Harmony. Do I look like I hang upside down in a cave?"
       

She glares back at him with confusion.
       

"A bat, Harmony. A bat. Bats hang upside down in caves. And I would have to be blind as said bat not to see that something is wrong. Spill it."
       

Harmony steers the conversation toward the subject of happiness. "Do you want me to be happy, BB? I mean, really happy?"
       

"Of course I do. You know I want you to be ---"
       

Harmony interrupts. "Even if it's not because of you? Even if you are not the source of my happiness?"
       

Awkward, gizzard-wrenching silence. A stunned tilt of BB's head. This convo is plummeting faster than a bird with broken wings. Harmony is ending it. BB is not blind, nor is he slow to catch on. But he is devastated.
       

"Say something, BB. Talk to me."
       

"You want me to say something? Alright. I get thrown in this human litter box. I lose my freedom. I lose my dignity. I lose my connection to all that I've ever known. And now I lose you. The icing on the poo-cake that is my life. I can't believe this! We are lovebirds. We are supposed to stay together...for life!"
       

"We are lovebirds, BB. But you have become a jailbird. Some things just don't go together. Like us, anymore . I'm sorry. Goodbye."
       

Harmony turns and waddles away. As for BB, heartbreak turns to anger. He begins to feel the distinct ruffling of feathers.
       

🎵 "Whatever may come, whatever the weather, I will let nothing ruff ---"
       

He attempts to repeat it, but the words taste like gravel in his beak. He starts shouting at Harmony as she departs.
       

"Harmony! Harmony! Just so you know, I don't feel very harmonized right now! What's that about?! HAR-MO-NY is HARM-ING-ME! That's right, I can pun! Birds just wanna have pun! Ah see, there goes another one! Harmony!"
       

Finally the emotional volcano subsides. The lava of anger stops flowing. And BB is left with the ashes of his grief and loneliness.
       

The hardened guard cannot help but feel sorry for his winged inmate. "Alright, Feathers. Let's go." His cold voice doesn't bespeak the sympathy he feels.

© Matt Decker

» This post is an excerpted chapter from my book  JAILBIRD