Order in the court? Hardly. Unsettled chatter. Anxious questioning. Gasps. A crowd gathers around the defendant's table. The judge has not yet emerged from his chamber and there is already something to talk about.
Within the circle of curious onlookers, motionless on the tabletop, lies one BB - flat on his feathered back. "Is he okay?," inquires a voice from the crowd. "What's wrong with him?," asks another. "Is he...dead?," a third voice hesitantly wonders.
Presently, a deep voice interjects with authority. "Alright, people. Back to your seats. Remember you are in a court of law. I know how to handle this." The voice belongs to one J. Jay Lawson - accomplished public defender and, as such, BB's legal representative.
A third-generation attorney, Lawson has tirelessly defended the rights of the disadvantaged for two and a half decades. He has prided himself on obtaining justice for the proverbial underdog - those who are lacking in financial resources and social status. Considering the zoological identity of his latest client, perhaps he should expand his professional mission to include underBIRDS? Though he takes his work very seriously, this thought never fails to evoke a smile.
Lawson's tall and lanky frame towers over his unconscious client. The courtroom spectators, now seated, stare in anxious silence. Lawson removes his black-rimmed eyeglasses, clears his throat and...whistles.
What a sight - this polished, dapper warrior of truth and justice whistling in court. A brave member of the crowd heckles. "Does anyone else have a hankering to watch The Andy Griffith Show?" Pockets of laughter escape from rapt faces. Ignoring this remark, Lawson persists in his whistling.
Suddenly, there is movement on the table. The diminutive defendant flips over in a flash. A single shake of his feathers and BB waddles his way toward his human advocate. "Welcome back, Sleeping Birdie. Glad you could join us." Scanning the courtroom with a sigh, Lawson takes his seat.
"BB, I get the feeling that you don't view this situation with the utmost seriousness." Lawson is leaning toward his avian client, speaking only a notch or two above a whisper.
"What makes you say that?," replies BB.
"Well, there was that time you went to sleep in court. Remember?"
BB giggles. Lawson wrinkles his forehead. "See? That right there is exactly what I'm talking about. Here you are, on trial in a human court, charged with bank robbery. This is serious business. This is your life, BB. Your very life is at stake. And I am here to defend it. And there you are...laughing."
"Oh come on," retorts BB. "Give me a break. I am a bird. A bird. I don't rob human banks, I don't break human laws and I don't react to situations in your world like humans do. I came from an egg. Remember that the next time you're flippin' an omelette. Respect who I am instead of trying to make me into your image. Is that too much to ask, Mr. Lawson?"
"That's beautiful, BB. Absolutely beautiful. And you know what? When you are molting away behind bars, you will have plenty-o-time to come up with all kinds of beautiful sentiments. And hey! Maybe your cellmate will play the harp or the violin for you. But only one thing matters today, in this court. Did you or did you not, in fact, rob the First Federal Bank? If the court finds in the affirmative, then it's bye-bye-birdie. It's my job to see that doesn't happen. So puh-leeze, BB, in the name of all that is chirpy, take this seriously."
BB lowers his head, giving the misleading impression of actually heeding his counsel's plea. After a few moments of seeming reflection, he speaks again. "Mr. Lawson, once upon a time, someone very dear to me taught me a valuable lesson. I am flying on the wings of that lesson into this situation. The exact wording of it is very personal. The only other creature I've shared it with is my tweetheart. But here's the yolk of it: I don't let anything ruffle my feathers. Take a good look. Are my feathers ruffled?"
"A little," deadpans Lawson.
"Well I haven't been up long. And it's a little drafty in here." BB motions with his wing for Lawson to come closer. The acclaimed attorney uncomfortably inches his head closer to the table. BB continues, assigning emphasis to each word. "Trust me, I'm not worried."
© Matt Decker
No comments:
Post a Comment