A Fuddy Duddy Named Puddy McCuddy

So here's a quick study

On a guy that's kinda nutty.

His name? Puddy McCuddy

And he's a real fuddy duddy.

In a nutshell, this nut is stuck in Time.

At least that's the case in his dusty mind.

There's a glitch in Puddy's psychology:

He's allergic to any modern technology.

He has never been sold on the idea

That old ideas can never be bold ideas.

At the end of the proverbial day

Those ideas are really no ideas.

Around town "Muddy McCuddy" he has been dubbed --

A dig that fits since Puddy's a stick-in-the-mud.

All calls to change

They have failed to work.

"Try something new!"

Puddy often has heard

But none of it has ever managed

To wrinkle this stuffed shirt.

Puddy couldn't figure out the reason

Why strangers kept coming to see him.

Turns out these unfamiliar people

Thought Puddy's house was a museum.

"What's a program?," wondered Puddy

As he failed to get with it.

So now he has made himself

Into a walking historical exhibit.

"There's a slight chance

That I might be old-fashioned"

Thought Puddy as he washed

His set of Depression-era glasses.

Not exactly on the cutting-edge of tech

He "downloads" his music from a cassette deck.

He wears discontinued cologne and clunky headphones

And there's nothing even remotely smart about his phone.

He is convinced that Android is a sham.

So he takes selfies with a Polaroid cam.

Puddy's buddy asked him if he had Bluetooth?

He replied, "Only when I drink blue juice."

Puddy pines for the "good ol' days"

When the only laptops were tin TV trays

And "text" only existed upon a paper page.

A whippersnapper asked him if he had a boo?

"It's not Halloween," answered Puddy, "what's wrong with you?"

The study of Puddy McCuddy is a cautionary lesson

In the ever-present threat of irrelevance and obsolescence.

Those who fail to innovate

Inevitably they'll deteriorate.

Will Puddy McCuddy learn this

Before it becomes too late?

© Matt Decker